Ok I can't take it anymore. I mentioned the Asian girl from Scott Piligrim the other day and someone said I have an Asian fetish. I get this all the time and sometimes I guess it is joking, but a lot of the time people act really serious like I do. This is something I have kept to myself and I am finally sharing it. Only a couple people know about this and maybe a few more will now that I am writing this note. I am not tagging anybody though. Also the reason I have not told anyone this is because it is really stupid and some will probably think I am an idiot or just make fun.
But please, this is really serious for me and I am sharing this even though I will probably get some comments of people making fun of me.
This is why I seem to go towards Asians....
Ok my first Asian girlfriend was Aiwen and then after her was Debbie. I thnk Debbie knows about the thing I am about tell though cause I believe I told her. Way after Debbie I dated a girl who was half. So you could say that was three Asian girlfriends in a row. This is why.
I really do not have a fetish. I like all types of girls, I have just had Asian girls on my mind lately. Oh yeah, that totally sounded like a fetish right? Anyways. My first three girlfriends were white. After the third I had this dream. I would say I was about 21, 22, 23 at the time or something. I hit REM sleep hard and it was to the point I could feel touch in my dream. In the dream I came across this girl who was Asian. She was a beautiful girl too. We spent time together and it seemed like along time. In the dream I knew I was going to wake up and I told her this. She then looked at me and said, "please don't forget about me". You can imagine how I felt when I woke up. It drove me insane.
The next night I went to bed and fell right to a deep sleep again. Again, the same girl and she remembered me from the first dream. Again, we talked and everything. Then it came that time again. I was a bit upset this time and said that I wish it wasn't a dream. She told me that one day we will find each other. Then I woke up.
The next night, I saw her again in a dream. This time I told her I couldn't take the torture anymore. Not being able to see her in real life. She then told me her name. When I woke up, I couldn't remember it. All I knew was that it had a K or C sound.
The next night, she was not in my dream and I have never seen her since. That next night started my insomnia problems. All of a sudden, I couldn't get Asian girls out of my mind. Every time I saw one I thought....could that be her. For not only I couldn't remember her name, I couldn't remember what she looked like either.
Later in life I felt kind of stupid and put it in the back of my mind. The girls I dated were not because of this dream. I dated them because I liked them. But the strange thing now is that I run into random girls who happen to be Asian. Some start to like me first. Or like any girl I meet, I will talk to them and maybe I will like them. I like them for the person they are, not their race.
It is funny though. I mean I never met many Asian girls until after I had those dreams. I swear on my life it is not a fetish. If I met a white girl who fit with me, of course I would give her a chance. I won't lie though. Sometimes I still see an Asian girl and the back of my mind thinks.....could that be the dream girl. I seem to only do this when I am lonely though.
Wouldn't it be crazy if life was like a movie though. Like I actually ran into my dream girl. I remember Debbie told me one time that she had a japanese class or something and the name she picked for the class started with a K. I kind of used that as a joke and said she was my dream girl. It is ok though. Even though we didn't work out, I still enjoyed the good times. I randomly kind of hooked up with Connie and her name had the C. Again, it crossed my mind, but not to the point where I chose her cause of it.
It would just be really cool if it was all true you know? Still to this day I still have this in my mind sometimes and it does make me feel childish or stupid. Even to the point where I feel like I might have a fetish. But then I will see a white girl and think she is attractive and I realize I am fine. It just sucks because I have had three Asian girlfriends and people see that as a fetish to the point where if I even mention an Asian girl......yeah it is a fetish.
Now you all see why things happened the way they did. I am not crazy....I think. Well sometimes I think I am. I hope to one day have another girl steal my heart and if she is Asian, I really hope the people that read this will understand that it is all just random, I am not addicted to Asians. Although I had an Asian girl tell me that they are addicted to me. That made me laugh. A Paul fetish? HAhahaha yeah right.
Funny how life works though. From the girls I dated, to the dream, to the girls I dated after and the random events that shaped how my heart and mind think today. So wither I meet an Asian girl or any other girl, I hope my friends close to me with respect what I do and don't think I am crazy.
Please if you can, don't comment anything bad to me. This really is a serious post and those of you who know me, know I don't get really embarassed, but right now I am some as I post this.
I hope everyone has a better understanding now....
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