No one really reads my blogs here on blogger. I guess it is a place where I can write deep thoughts. I normally am a deep guy but if you look at me all over the web, you do not see this side of me unless you come across this blog. Sometimes it is just nice to write down what you are thinking. That is why I have this. Anyways.....
So I have this friend who I have known for over 10 years now. She means a lot to me and my life. I have been there for her through everything to always make her smile and she has done the same for me. People say a girl and a guy cannot be as close as we can without wanting to be together, or should be together. But we are. We just have always wanted that connection.
One thing we really have in common is the ability to date people who treat us like crap. We are also the ones who usually get dumped. I don't want to brag here, but I am a hopeless romantic. I know how to treat a girl I am with. Unfortunately my friend has not really had the pleasure to experience that with anyone. Not even the last guy she dated. I mean he was the nicest guy she has ever been with. I set them up. He is a great guy, but there are still things he was leaving out of the relationship. Well because of differences, they broke up.
She is now single again and after 10 years I cannot take it anymore. I really want a chance. I know her, I know her family, friends. I know what makes her happy and how to give her a good time. I would treat her the way she should of been treated all these years. Yes I am her best friend, but I want more. You always hear about being friendzoned. I want to break the code. I want to show it is possible.
But maybe it is not. I did tell her I would like to take her on a date. But she won't even give me that. Every time she needs a shoulder I am there and she tells me how comfortable it is just to be with me. But in the end, she doesn't want more. I mean not even a chance. Why not give a chance to something that could be great. The ability to feel comfortable all the time.
There is a part of me that wants to run to her, grab her in my arms, kiss her, look her in the eyes and say, "we can do this together, I will never let you down". But being her best friend, I don't want to bug her. All I really want is for her to show interest in me like I have done to her. I just have a feeling if she finds another guy, he will not treat her right. I know this because a stranger would like her cause she is beautiful and fun. But I like her cause I like everything about her. She is beautiful, fun and I like all the good and bad things about her. I like her for what she is and wouldn't have to worry so much about judging her.
She agreed with me one time that we would make an amazing couple. But then she said that 6 years ago she got over me. Then because of that, she has never liked me more than a friend. It hurts. The what she said, but the fact that I know I could treat her right and instead I will probably have to watch her get hurt by someone else in the future.
So that is my venting. My friend is a special girl and will always be a special girl to me. No matter what happens I will always support her and I have always supported her. Maybe years from now I will look at this post and I will be with her. Or maybe I will look at this post and just laugh. Or maybe....I will still be alone and not want to look at this post.
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